Joan here..."Tia and Katie's ALS Garage Sale Fundraiser"

The big question this year was it Tia & Katie or Katie & Tia's ALS Garage Sale! :)

Rain or rain....the girls just kept on a going! Long weekend and rain and rain....what a combination! They have not met their goal yet but wow...they are well on their way!!!! They are determined to meet their goal so the garage sale will be continued on this Friday 9:00-4:00.

It is also the day of the ALS Whitemouth Walk so before or after the walk you can always drop in at the Curling Rink and check out the garage sale stuff!.

Here is Katie doing her favourite thing at the sale! Taking the cash!!!!

Thank you every one for your great donations- items to sell and cash donations!!! Everything is so greatly appreciated!!!! It was so wonderful to see everyone today!

Here is one for the books on garage sale shopping that happened today...without mentioning any names... I had one lady who came up to me and said "is this ever nice" in reference to an item she was holding in her hand. I agreed. Later on after she bought it and left Val came over to me and said.....Joan she was the one who donated it!!!!!!!!! Now that is a gotcha....I call it "garage sale fever!" lol

Don't forget The ALS Whitemouth Walk is this Friday leaving from the Whitemouth School. If you can't make the walk and would like to sponsor Team Rick Fewster please go to the ALS site http://www.walkforals.com/ . Thank you so much!

Joan here..."Prawda/Reynolds School ALS Walk"

Why does everything have to be so emotional and bitter sweet this first year???? Another first. Rick spoke to these same students last year and wooed and awed them with his fancy power chair spins etc. Here I was alone without him this year on the walk. Yes, there were lots of memories and lots of tears!!! Reynolds School in Prawda has been dubbed "The small school with a Big Heart!". Well that is exactly what I experienced today from them!!! Not only in their financial support but in the way they opened their hearts!!!

The Whitemouth School, Reynolds School and Beausejour Schools are going to be the most educated students on the subject of ALS!!!! They have all opened their hearts to us!!!

There were a couple of really special things that happened for me today! First, one of Rick's home care workers, Julie, showed up. It meant so much to me. From the first moment she entered our space (at first it was so difficult to have any help come in, Rick and I felt like we were giving up so much of our personal space and we both resented that) we knew she was quite the gal! She walked in and the first thing she said is the sanitizer bottle I had at the door didn't have enough alcohol % in it for being really effective. That was our intro to Julie!!! Well, we knew after that we had someone who would challenge us to excellence!!! Yes, she was right!!!! The dollar store stuff is okay but not when you are fighting what we were fighting!!!!

It is always so wonderful to me to talk with people who loved Rick. I love to talk and talk about Rick!!! Julie walked with me and we talked. She was there and saw on a day to day basis what this disease was all about. She had previously cared for Louise Lamaga who also had ALS. Julie saw how we had to fight it every day. She saw Rick and I in the trenches!!!! She brought such joy to my heart!!!! We had such wonderful home care workers for Rick. Julie, Carol, Jeannette & Debbie helping me care for my darling husband. It was just sooooo good to see her! I don't know if you ever read this blog Julie but THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for today!!!

Secondly, A mom and dad from Wpg, a daughter and her three children who recently as November had lost their son, brother, and uncle to ALS. He was only 44 years old, married with children. They showed up at this walk in support of him! They heard about this walk and decided they would drive out and support this little school's walk as it landed on the father's birthday!!!!! Their faith like mine had carried them through this terrible time in their life!

I had the honour and pleasure of meeting this family today. We just had to look at each other and mention that we have lost a loved one to ALS and the bond is immediately there. We understand the loss, the pain and the suffering without having to say a word. The mother took some time and spoke to my inner being with words of wisdom, encouragement and grace! I felt like God himself was encouraging me!

Back to the Reynolds School. We had a cloudy day, but a warm day! Actually, a perfect day to walk. I so enjoy the students, the staff, the openness in which they embrace us all. To all the students who have gone out and pursued sponsors for their school walks I am forever grateful! You ARE making a difference in the lives of those who are fighting this fight with ALS! The money is going to research and equipment for families like myself who needed this expensive equipment. Also, it enables the ALS Society of MB to be such a support to someone who is first diagnosed.

Talking about the ALS Society of MB, I want to thank Diana Rasmussen, Brian Campbell and yes Sharon Carter (who held down the fort) today for coming out and being there once again as a source of support, strength,comfort and for continuing to spread the awareness of this horrific disease. These wonderful people have so many day to day duties to take care of never mind trying to be at each walk and and and and....the list goes on. God Bless these dear people who year after year are there for us!!!! Yes, they get paid but believe me....NOT for the hours and hours of time they put in!!!!!

I just want all of you to know the ALS Society of MB is something to be so proud of!!!!! They have been there for our loved ones, for us and our families. When Rick was first diagnosed he was given a death sentence. The neurologist as wonderful as he was told us he could not help us other than tell us Rick was going to die. Rick contacted the ALS Society of MB. and within a day Diana was at our home talking to us, reaching out to us, giving us hope that we were not alone, she let us know that there was an ALS Clinic, equipment, support meetings. We needed to hear something....our world, our life as we knew it just had just crashed!!!! THANK YOU!

When I will be what I call more "normal" ....I promise you I will do everything to help you folks more in helping with the walks, the fundraising, and and and........

If any of you want to reach out and help fight this ALS......whether it be to give of your time, talents or donate money PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact the AL Society of MB and say RICK sent you!!!!!

I haven't shown pics of students once again as we are not allowed to for their safety.

Joan here..."9 Months"

First, I fixed the link for connecting to the ALS fundraising website on the upper right hand side of blog. Don't know what happened there. You can also get to it by http://www.walkforals.ca/ and looking up Team Rick Fewster.

Who would have thought....on the 9 month day of Rick's passing, May 13th Friday I would be in Whitemouth sharing with the students of the Whitemouth School for the 4th Annual ALS Walk kickoff rally!

Jennifer Staerk once again organized the 4th Annual ALS Walk Kickoff where the students are all handed out their sponsorship sheets for the upcoming walk on the May 27th, Friday. She has been one of those behind the scenes dedicated and amazing persons.

My granddaughter Tia put together a wonderful power point presentation on what ALS is all about. Little granddaughter Katie presented her speech to the students that she had written about her Grandpa Rick and his journey with ALS. The passion in which these girls have gone forward in keeping the memory of Grandpa Rick alive and raising funds to find a cure for this horrible disease has been so inspirational!!!! I am so very proud of them!!!

It was one of those really really emotionally difficult times for myself. First time Rick was not there. You got to know he was there in spirit! The students were respectful, warm and receptive. After I talked some they continued with our previous format where the floor was opened to the students asking questions. This is something Rick and I loved when the students would ask questions on any level. Even though we never knew what kind of question we may be asked we always tried to be as open and honest as we possibly could be.

Yesterday, was so different as I stood there in front of these students all alone. I no longer had Rick by my side. We always worked as a team and bounced the answers back and forth from each other to the students. I had moments where I just told myself to suck it up and focus and not break down. Yes, they asked the questions, How did Rick die? Did he talk before he died? Do I still have any of his equipment left? What were his favorite things to do? What was his favorite colour? They also asked some really thoughtful questions about the disease itself. The questions continued for some time. Look out ALS...your days are numbered!!!! This generation is going to do something about you!!!!!!!

I was so pleased in my heart that they were still interested in knowing all about Rick! They haven't forgotten him! I was honoured to be in the midst of this school. Once again Thank you to Jennifer Staerk, all the Whitemouth staff and students for once again opening your hearts to stepping out and raising funds to help find a cure for ALS!!!

I am looking forward to seeing all of you on Friday, May 27th for the ALS Whitemouth Walk!!!!

Joan here...."My first ALS Walk without Rick"

I found this pic of Rick when he was training to scuba dive with Jake and Daniel a year before he was diagnosed. Looking back I am sure he never dreamed just a couple of short years later he would be wearing a bipap machine mask 24/7.

I am so emotional just typing this....

This is my Fourth ALS Walk in Whitemouth. It is going to be a very very sad one as Rick will only be here in spirit! I am so proud of Rick and how in his last years on earth he still tried to fund raise to help find a cure and supply expensive equipment to families. He continued to speak to the different schools in the area. He bounced around in the van sitting strapped to the wheel chair but never complained even though his energy and body were failing him!

We do not want to have anyone else go through this disease. It is more common than we think. The ALS Society truly made a difference in our lives!!! Please try and support the walk if you can in any way. Please join us if you can or support the fundraising.

ALS Walk coming up May 27, Friday at Whitemouth School.

This year's walk is in honour of Louise Lamage and my darling Rick.

There will be a hot dog bq once again as part of the fundraising.

If you would like to become a member of Team Rick, walk, pledge or all of the above. You can download forms from the site or donate on the site as well.

Please check out my site at the link at the top right hand side top of the blog.

Katie and Tia's Annual Garage Sale will be held on May 21th, Saturday in Whitemouth.

I can't even imagine how hard it will be for Jake, Val, Tia and Katie preparing for the garage sale. Tia and Katie knowing Grandpa Rick will not have his annual photo taken with them. Rick and I would always wait for Tia and Katie to do their big presentation to announce how much they made from their garage sale to Grandpa Rick.

Joan here..."A very brave lady named Mavis passed away last night"

My heart and soul go out to Ron, Ted & Bernice at the loss of their beloved wife and sister Mavis. Mavis passed away last night from lung cancer. She fought and fought and fought the disease and lived beyond what they told her she would. She was a positive person and full of faith! She did everything she knew to fight it. She almost made it to her grandchild's first birthday. She followed strict diets and even went down south for all those special treatments. I had the luxury and pleasure of her calling me a couple of months ago and talking and talking. She wanted to live!

I have just passed the 8th month benchmark of Rick's passing so this news is even more grievous than ever for me. My Ricki also fought and fought and believed with all his might....he too wanted to live!

I have decided to try and keep myself busy so I won't be sitting on my kids doorsteps every week. Whitemouth is where I feel my last heart beat was. Every time I go to where Rick and I were last together I am so emotional and overwhelmed in my being. I cry driving to town and I cry leaving town. My missing him, my last memories of us there, our home at the time, I want to run into that very place as fast as I can and just run back into his arms just one more time!

The loneliness is unreal! I have gotten so sad and distraught at times. Everything I have read on grieving is confirming this is all just very normal. I have been volunteering this past few weeks and I also got myself a short term paying position. Hopefully, I will be able to focus long enough to accomplish the task that I need to perform for the time being.

I really have experienced the saying "until you walk in some one's shoes you really can't even know what they are going through". The emotional ups and downs, the brokenness, the sadness, the loneliness, the confusion, the desire to be around those you feel you can trust with your true feelings and will not judge you, just wanting others to listen to you without running around with what you have told them, having the unrealistic expectation that others will perceive and understand your needs, feelings and deep loss intuitively. It is amazing at the vulnerability, the easiness in which you can be so hurt when others "don't get it". I never "got it" either before.

If you are around someone who just lost a loved one I just encourage you to be forgiving, kind, patient, understanding and tender! Even though they maybe irrational at times, unrealistic at times, angry at times, demanding at times, lonely at times, wanting to talk and talk at times, forgetting what what was just said two minutes earlier at times.....Hey, that is sure me! And that is all part of my grieving...I know... it just plain old sucks!!!

I am missing you Ricki this Easter time...remembering us decorating and cutting out those big 7 foot Easter bunnies, cooking together, and planning the Easter hunts! All the while never forgetting the true meaning of Easter....the power of Jesus dying on the cross and forgiving us all for absolutely ALL our sins! I am so thankful that as a couple we both believed in HIS love for us!

Happy Easter everyone....Sending love and big hugs from all of us here on planet earth to all our loved ones who have gone on before us at this special time!

Where am I at? Not sure if I can be really really be real about that... Here goes what I can say....I miss my darling wonderful husband every moment of the day...without exception ever!!!!!!! He is not here and I have to learn how to cope without him...."key word" "cope". I am trying to focus on other things beside me....not always easy...but I AM trying! I could cry at the mention of his name! I think that will never ever change! I am busy with trying to get family members to doctors appointments, hospital visitations, volunteering as much as I can, filling in the blanks with working at a temporary job position....just plain old trying to keep busy. As far as getting and keeping a job position it is most difficult as my concentration is so dependable on the day! I am so thankful for the various family members of Rick's family who have continued to be a source of strength and encouragement to me. They really loved Rick and honour him in every way they can! They are such an source of encouragement to me!!! Thank You!!!! It is going on 8 months and I can just not believe I made it this far without him..........I feel his presence all the time....I know he is here to help me get through this. We will be together again in eternity...he will meet me on that special park bench!!! I keep hearing his words...it will be okay "babette". When I am down and out and feeling lonely...his words come flooding back to my soul..