Joan here...Whew! Too much emotional stuff!!!

As I write this I am sitting in our new apartment. Most of our things are unpacked. We don't have a computer desk yet set up so I am sitting on my knees typing this off of an end table. The sun is shinning and it looks like it will be a beautiful day and it seems like we may have a bit of order to our life for the moment.

The last few days have been an incredible time of emotional highs and lows. We decided to move into the apartment the night before last. They say you get to know who you really are when the pressure is on. Well, I found out pretty quick that I can be not a very nice person when the heat is on!!! Rick and I had just left our house after a bunch of the kids and friends took the rest of the "stuff" away. It was late at night and we had a car load of things to get to the apartment. Rick is at a place where he can't lift anything with weight and I am not a whole lot better.

Our car was parked in the underground parking which meant we had to cross that and head for the elevators with the boxes and bins. One box at a time would have taken us hours so all that we could find to help us was a grocery cart. We filled the grocery cart full of the "stuff" and I started to push it. Poor Rick by this time was so exhausted himself. He could barely walk even with his cane. I looked at him barely walking and my cart full of "stuff" and that is when all the anger....frustration...and whatever you could call it hit! I felt like I was a bag lady with all this"stuff" in the cart and officially no home of our own. Talk about feeling sorry for myself. We were both so exhausted!

We got into the apartment and I slammed the box on a shelf in the storage closet and announced "I have had it and started crying!" So between the anger and the tears we ended up talking almost all night. Just what Rick needed no sleep!

I wish I could say that everything was better in the morning but it wasn't. We still had to head over to the house and pick up our telephone and cable box and return them. We knew this was going to be the last walk through our home with no one around. Our neighbour lady came over to say an official good bye as neighbours. We have become more than neighbours we have become friends! Not having her near is going to be hard!

We began the dreaded walk... we walked through our home room by room. Seeing all the rooms empty seemed so strange. We laughed and cried as we walked through the house and did all the remembering. We stood holding hands at the threshold of the door and prayed for the couple who would be moving in here. We are so happy it is them. Rick and I prayed for years and years of a house full of love, happiness and peace for them as they live in this place. We know how much we were blessed to have had this home together!

Next, was the yard....our hobby...our quiet place...our time of being together...Rick said he had a moment of epiphany one day after working for hours in the back yard with me. He realized he was "the gardener and that I was the garden decorator". He said it made his life so much easier to understand me after that! I was always getting him to move things around. He says big heavy things! when he was just trying to plant. He says we make quite a team.

As we walked around the yard, being true to myself, I began to notice all the things that needed yet to be done. As I rattled off all of the things Rick stopped and looked at me and said "Joan lets just stop and look at all the things that have been done and enjoy these moments!" Felt like a pail of cold water hit my face! I needed the reality check of taking a breath, stop running for a moment, and just breath in this moment forever into our hearts!

We very very slowly walked through the rest of the yard, looked into the now almost empty shed, the second shed that we had made up into a play house for the grand kids, the herb garden, up the side of the house, and closed the now rickety gate, and finally slowly got into the car. Rick slowly backed out of the driveway as we both waved good bye.

I have always heard of the saying "home is where the heart is". Rick and my heart is always in being together. Our home is now officially wherever we are together!