Where am I at? Not sure if I can be really really be real about that... Here goes what I can say....I miss my darling wonderful husband every moment of the day...without exception ever!!!!!!! He is not here and I have to learn how to cope without him...."key word" "cope". I am trying to focus on other things beside me....not always easy...but I AM trying! I could cry at the mention of his name! I think that will never ever change! I am busy with trying to get family members to doctors appointments, hospital visitations, volunteering as much as I can, filling in the blanks with working at a temporary job position....just plain old trying to keep busy. As far as getting and keeping a job position it is most difficult as my concentration is so dependable on the day! I am so thankful for the various family members of Rick's family who have continued to be a source of strength and encouragement to me. They really loved Rick and honour him in every way they can! They are such an source of encouragement to me!!! Thank You!!!! It is going on 8 months and I can just not believe I made it this far without him..........I feel his presence all the time....I know he is here to help me get through this. We will be together again in eternity...he will meet me on that special park bench!!! I keep hearing his words...it will be okay "babette". When I am down and out and feeling lonely...his words come flooding back to my soul..