Welcome

This blog is about a new walk with my husband Rick & I since he was diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) or Lou Gehrig's Disease or MND (Motor Neuron Disease) on February 1, 2008.

This blog was started as a way to keep our family and friends and anyone else interested in our battle with ALS updated.
So as you read this blog please keep us in your hearts and prayers.

The blog starts from the most current to the oldest entry. Rick has started to blog now also as of April 1,2008 so this site has become officially "our blog".

My dearest husband Rick passed away on August 13, 2010,
2 1/2 yrs after diagnosis. Now I have to learn how to walk in the courage, strength and bravery that he did in fighting this disease. He promised me he would be waiting for me in eternity on a park bench. Together Forever!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Rick here...On Monday, yesterday, it was "My worst day yet!"

In the midst of all the joy we are experiencing with family and friends, I had my worst day yesterday since diagnosis. I hate to inject it in the midst of all the good things that have been happening but it is reality and it is what we are experiencing.

I woke up in the morning overcome with the most intense gut wrenching sadness that I have ever experienced! Joan heard me crying and held me as I sobbed from the depths of my being. I could not get past it. It went on for most of the day. Joan and I prayed for wisdom in what was going on. I have never felt so out of control emotionally!

Joan then spoke wisdom to me. What came to her as we prayed was the word "mourning". As soon as she said it, I felt released. I still cried for some time but I felt like I understood then what was going on. We prayed and talked through most of the day sharing God's word and what he says about mourning. In retrospect, this was probably way over due as I have tended to try and cope by denial, staying positive, and being strong! That only works for awhile. Joan told me "you don't always have to be strong" "it is okay to be sad, to cry and to just be yourself"! It released me. The thing is, I know all of this stuff, but it is sure a lot different when it is your body that is shutting down.

This is all part of the process but it is no fun going through it. This disease robs you by inches. It never stops and you always have the assurance that it will be worse tomorrow than it is today! I tend to hold it at arms length and then finally succumb to the reality of where I am at. I don't think this will ever change and I don't think I want it to. I just wanted to share this part of the journey. As my sweetheart says..."keep it real Rick!". lol

Now ask me how I am today? Today is a NEW day!