Another first...Christmas will never be the same! Once again for me...and everyone else who really loved him. I miss Rick like crazy! I miss the little things he did every Christmas. He always made sure he would have fresh flowers or a plant sent and a love note.
We would enjoy the pleasure of watching the annual amaryllis plant grow like crazy and bloom. We have had the same bulb for years now. I can't believe I even remembered to plant it once again and it is sure growing. It is actually a fun plant as it grows inches each day. Instant gratification! Then we would always discuss beforehand what we wanted to do for Christmas for gifts for each other. He was a very very romantic kind of guy so I got some really wonderful gifts over the years from Rick.
We usually would have our Christmas get togethers with our family early in the month of December so the kids would be free to go to the other parent's gatherings. Then we would go off somewhere for a couple of days alone. This past couple of years we couldn't do that so we would enjoy Christmas Eve with the carollers coming to the door, have a fire burning in the wood stove and just spending time together. Christmas Day Jake and Val would have us over for Christmas dinner.
I don't have a stove in our suite so cooking a turkey dinner was out of the question. That was one thing Rick loved doing was making the dressing and turkey. We loved cooking together. He would always add some of the herbs that we had grown in our vegetable garden.
This year I spent Christmas Eve with Jen, Clif and family and celebrating the news of a little one coming in the new year. Christmas Day was spent with Jake and Val and the girls. We lite some candles in remebrance of Rick. The suite is just not the same without Rick. I am really trying to do more than go through the motions of Christmas. I am very aware of being the extra person around and I don't want to take away from the kids having their Christmas with their kids. They are all so good to me but I have to learn now how to adjust to these social gatherings without my husband.
I came across this poem and I can't really find the true story of who wrote it so I will list it as author unknown.
For Rick I rejoice that he no longer suffers with not being able to walk, struggling for a breath, not being able to feed himself or even being able to hug his loved ones. He is free in his spirit to experience all that God has for him...and for that I am thankful and rejoice for him.
"My First Christmas in Heaven"
I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars
Reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular.
Please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
but the sounds of music can't compare
With the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring.
For it's beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart,
but I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift,
From my heavenly home above
I sent you each a memory
Of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious
Than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other,
As my Father said to do,
For I can't count the blessings or the love
He has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas
And wipe away that tear.
Remember, I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
Merry Christmas to everyone and special hugs to those people whose loved ones are spending Christmas with Jesus this year!
