Last year I posted on December 31 some pics of all our family members who shared the same birthday on today's date. My mom, Rick's dad, my sister, my cousin, Well.....that list just grew longer. Rick's daughter Ella had a little daughter today. Rick's dad Wendal now shares his birthday with his great grand daughter "Nina". Rick would get such a kick out of that happening. I think it is wonderful news and an incredible thing to happen on the last day of what has been a very difficult year for everyone.
I spent the evening just doing nothing much. I was invited to spend the evening with Rick's dear cousins but it was so cold to drive out there and I have so much on my plate right now so I declined. I made a big toasty warm fire in the wood stove. It is so very comforting on a cold, cold evening to have a nice fire burning in the wood stove. I kissed Rick's picture countless times and wiped away the tears with each kiss. Thankfully, his picture in under glass.
I sat here feeling blue as the clock was ticking away and getting closer to moving forward into the new year. I was dreading the arrival of the new year as it meant it would mark the first new year without Rick physically here. He and I would not ever share one day together in 2011. I was spiralling downward with these thoughts as the clock ticked away. All of a sudden a skype call came in from our friends Erin & Bill from New Zealand wishing me a New Year!
I am so amazed how once again God uses people to be there at the right time and the right place. It brought such joy to my heart and cut through my sadness. In thinking about these friends I have been truly amazed. ALS has invaded Bill's body for sometime now. My heart breaks for them knowing what they are going through. How hard it is for both of them in each their own ways. Through the wonderful world of Internet we connected because of ALS. Through these past years we have shared our lives as we went along. Rick and I enjoyed reading their blog together. They were people just like us...people put in a spot that they didn't want to be in. Facing the tiger in the eye and desperately trying to over power it.
We don't always understand the whys or the how comes when having to deal with sorrow and pain but I have come to experience first hand how amidst all of it there is always a thread of goodness. That thread is what I have clung to. We just have to be open to look for it and that is not always easy when you are walking through the storm.
Tonight, when I got the "Happy New Year call" it was such a gift at the right moment. Here they are living on the opposite ends of the earth, right now experiencing hot beach weather, and already moving towards the end of New Years Day and I am experiencing -30 some with wind chill, piles of snow outside, putting wood in the stove, and heading into the New Year. As opposite as we are in so many areas we share in the same grief and pain of what ALS does to our lives, loved ones and families.
The friendship that we have developed with so many others in this situation has been gold! We may get knocked down and the wind knocked out of us from time to time but we share in the same inner strength and power that love gives. Because of our faith and the love for our loved ones we brush ourselves off and get up and keep on walking!
Erin, Alaina, Cathy, Alice, Joan M., Karen, Anna, and Mertia and everyone else who walked the walk of love and never gave up through this very difficult past year...May you each find an extra thick thread of goodness when you need it in this New Year of 2011!
