Well...a few thoughts on terror. Been doing a ton of thinking and talking with Joan about this. The terror that grips you with this thing has really little to do with death. I have faith and though there is grief to deal with there is really no terror concerning the hereafter.
The terror of AlS lies in the progressive loss of ability and function and the increasing speed at which it is happening. Right now I am only able to go a few feet with the cane alone on level ground...other than that it is the walker and scooter. More than 4 or 5 stairs are impossible without extreme effort. Being measured up for a power wheelchair in the next few days, so that is next. I have actually been able to deal with the loss of legs pretty well tho...I guess cause you see all kinds of folks dealing with that all the time.
The really scary thing for me is that my arms and hands are starting to go. The way it has worked with me is that first I have muscle twitching (fasiculations) in an area..say a leg or arm...followed later by cramping and loss of strength that just goes on and on...not fast but worse every day. Been experiencing that for some time now in my arms and hands,been starting to drop things, knock stuff over,etc. It is weird...your brain thinks you have lifted your hand 6 inches so you swing it over and discover as you knock over the coffee that it only went up 4 inches...makes a mess but so far at least I've missed the keyboard :)
The muscles in my stomach and chest have gone badly...leaves me with quite a little beer belly for the first time in my life :) The stomach muscles are the ones that push your diaphragm for breathing and coughing so it is not good though. When I try and cough now it is very difficult since there is no power behind it...not looking forward to colds that is for sure.
Been having some scary swallowing, choking things going on as well. Creates a gagging session that can go on for a while and leaves me pretty well unable to talk.
Been having the first cramps in my throat which is very weird too...it just kind of paralyses my throat muscles and makes it impossible to swallow or speak till it passes. Joan also noticed the first twitching that we have seen on my face this week....agghhhhh!
It is progressing on all fronts at once- some slower and some faster- but still all at once. And this will sadly soon be the good old days!! That is the terror of this beast.
When I compare how I am now to how I was at diagnosis Feb 1 this year( when I didn't even need a cane) ...and then extrapolate the same progression rate ahead another 8 months it is not a cheery thing:(
Welcome
This blog is about a new walk with my husband Rick & I since he was diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) or Lou Gehrig's Disease or MND (Motor Neuron Disease) on February 1, 2008.
This blog was started as a way to keep our family and friends and anyone else interested in our battle with ALS updated.
So as you read this blog please keep us in your hearts and prayers.
The blog starts from the most current to the oldest entry. Rick has started to blog now also as of April 1,2008 so this site has become officially "our blog".
My dearest husband Rick passed away on August 13, 2010,
2 1/2 yrs after diagnosis. Now I have to learn how to walk in the courage, strength and bravery that he did in fighting this disease. He promised me he would be waiting for me in eternity on a park bench. Together Forever!
This blog was started as a way to keep our family and friends and anyone else interested in our battle with ALS updated.
So as you read this blog please keep us in your hearts and prayers.
The blog starts from the most current to the oldest entry. Rick has started to blog now also as of April 1,2008 so this site has become officially "our blog".
My dearest husband Rick passed away on August 13, 2010,
2 1/2 yrs after diagnosis. Now I have to learn how to walk in the courage, strength and bravery that he did in fighting this disease. He promised me he would be waiting for me in eternity on a park bench. Together Forever!