Welcome

This blog is about a new walk with my husband Rick & I since he was diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) or Lou Gehrig's Disease or MND (Motor Neuron Disease) on February 1, 2008.

This blog was started as a way to keep our family and friends and anyone else interested in our battle with ALS updated.
So as you read this blog please keep us in your hearts and prayers.

The blog starts from the most current to the oldest entry. Rick has started to blog now also as of April 1,2008 so this site has become officially "our blog".

My dearest husband Rick passed away on August 13, 2010,
2 1/2 yrs after diagnosis. Now I have to learn how to walk in the courage, strength and bravery that he did in fighting this disease. He promised me he would be waiting for me in eternity on a park bench. Together Forever!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Rick here...Wow....what a woman!

Well...we are here and getting settled...thanks to all for your help! We couldn't have done it without you!!!

My heroic wife has lifted, toted, sorted and hauled stuff to the point of total exhaustion! It breaks my heart to see her have to do all of this by herself! She started the day yesterday by hauling 3 - 50 lb bags of potatoes out of the truck and across the garage and then on to a full day of lifting and sorting boxes. That was always the stuff I did...now I can't carry 5 lbs up a 6inch stair....it is VERY hard on both of us....both physically and emotionally. She has to carry the weight of doing all the physical stuff- and I mean ALL of it...., deal with my daily deterioration and what we know lies ahead very soon and all the horrible pain that brings, help me with the most basic personal tasks, deal with having moved twice in a short time, start to adjust to a new community, and on and on! Those of you that know her understand that Joan is a vivacious woman of indomitable spirit, incredible energy, a tireless worker, fearless determination, generous beyond belief, and , oh yes...did I mention she has a touch of ' Burnell' stubbornness :)
I am so afraid for her though ...she pushes herself so very hard! I feel so very helpless when I watch what she is going through. I wish with all of my heart that I could somehow relieve some the of pain and anguish that all of this brings her.

When we sort through our stuff it is all memories - when Joan and I started out we started with nothing in the way of possessions...bought our first air bed and 2 cups and plates at Army Surplus across from the apartment we had 12 years ago:) Joan has a way of making the very best out of whatever we have.. whether much or little...it is a gift that she has!
As we sort the boxes every single thing...even the 'junk stuff' has memories. Things the kids and grand kids played with, gifts, mementos, etc. To us all of it is important because it is not just 'stuff'...it is memories!

We make 3 piles...the first one to give away...the second one for now ...and the third one for later when I am gone and Joan will have to set up on her own. We cry a lot when we pack the third one:( She often looks up at me, cries and says...you won't be with me when I unpack this..and then I cry too. This disease is so hard! Joan gave up so much when we got out of the house. We are so thankful for the kids opening their home to us cause otherwise I would soon be in a care home....but the horrible downside is that when I go then after a bit Joan will have to try and restart a life. Quite different than carrying on in the same home, neighborhood,etc as so many of our friends have sadly had to do. She willingly makes any sacrifice she can to make things better for me, and to insure that we are able to be together right to the end. She is the most selfless person I have ever met!

We are obviously not doing this cause we want to ....it would be different if we were 75 and downsizing...we wanted to have a home set up for fun with our grand kids ( 9 and still counting) , a place for family gatherings, etc.
This disease was not in the plan.
I love her with all of my heart!!! I think that this disease is harder on the spouse than it is on the person with it! The stress is beyond belief! On top of everything else Joan has been suffering greatly through all of this with a painful case of shingles...no doubt caused by the stress. Please pray for her!

Hopefully now I will be able to be more regular blogging as we are not running quite so hard.
I'll try and do a bit of catch up stuff too.