Rick here...It was a shitty week!

Well....last week was a very tough week! The realities of this disease and the tremendous emotional and physical strain of dealing with it are beyond belief! My poor sweetheart pushes herself so very hard to try and keep our life as 'normal' as possible and all the while help me maintain whatever dignity and independence that I can! It breaks my heart!! The strain on both of us - and her in particular- is tremendous!

Despite the fact that I am an incurable optimist, sometimes the shit we are going through just overwhelms me....and I often respond in typical 'guy' fashion by getting quiet, feeling sorry for myself, licking my wounds and as Joan says ' staring into the fire' ....That is a nice way of saying that I 'dial out':) Listen up guys....that is NOT what your (my)woman needs! We (me) need to speak and communicate when going through that stuff, as that is how most of our wives (mine especially) deal with it in their hearts!I know all that stuff but boy, it can be darn hard to do at the time!

Last week we were laying together in the hospital bed on a rainy day, holding each other and crying. We looked out onto the deck and saw the first hummingbird of the year at the feeder....what timing! Joan said God sent him just to cheer you up! We cried some more, then laughed. I thought- if this little bugger can fly 2000 miles and make it - so can we! God indeed sent that little hummer to us that day! It never ceases to amaze us how when we are down and sad that God always reaches out to us...either through people or even little birds!

To top it off the Grade 2/3 teacher stopped off at the house and brought us a calendar the kids made for us....each child painted a page and signed it- they chose a scene to match our decor based on their visit to our place, complete with an inspirational message! There are only 25 students in the class so our month now has only 25 days! lol Anyhow...it was so touching as the drawings showed such care and hope...many more tears were shed...thanks kids!! We could not believe that a teacher would organize and co-ordinate such a gesture...what an educator!!!...these are lucky kids! We have been so overwhelmed by the way we have been 'adopted' by these kids, teachers and by the town itself.

Anyhow....we have made some decisions that we knew needed to be made. We are setting up a meeting with the homecare folks to start getting some help from them. We have already met a few times with the coordinator and they are super! We are also setting up a kind of' volunteer help calendar' for our family and friends who have expressed an interest in helping. My goal is for Joan to have at least a day and a nite away every 2 weeks or so where she does not have to be bearing the physical weight of all she has to do 24/7 This is so hard for us cause we did everything together - our idea of a break was not to be apart but to go away together. The thing is though, she needs a break from ALS, not from me.....I hope :)

We are also going to try and take advantage of the Brummitt -Feasby House in Winnipeg - it is a hospice home run by the ALS Society - and they sometimes have an available room where I will be able to stay and Joan get a bit of a break when we do things in the city and then don't have to drive back. We are already booked there for Naomi's wedding at the end of June. They are fully equipped with hospital beds, hoyer lifts, commode chairs and all the other necessities of life that we need now.
Anyhow...again...thanks to all our family and friends who care so much and are so supportive of us! We love you all and appreciate you all more than you will ever know!